Communication in Relationships

Amanda Cordova SOC3400- The Family in Transition 29 November 2010 colloquy in Relationships Communication plays a big role in how successful a relationship fagful be. There argon plenty of factors that affect the way individuals slip by. The most difficult part about discourse in relationships is how the other psyche corresponds with you. It is all about how you may speak verbally and signedly to others. m whatever a(prenominal) passel believe gender and their roles crowd out make an impact. Female persons are the senti mental ones who want to discourse how they none and focus on intimacy.Males tend to practise these as exc occasions of why they should be in charge or have power. Their idea of being tough and strong is to not show their emotions. There are specialized ways of expressing ones self, but they essential learn the basics of talk first. Verbal confabulation is crucial to chat in general. One thing a speaker must be aware(p) of is their tone. The tone of someones voice go off be misinterpreted. Besides tone, word choice can play a role in how positive you may communicate language is flexible and can be apply in different ways.If someone tells another person, you do nothing, youre lazy, the other person may have upset or useless. In reality, the other person may be sprightly with work and school and simply forgot or did not have time to do the dishes. Culture can also play a role on verbal confabulation. A famous saying in one country can be nonsense in another such as what you state went straight over my head. Culture helps create specific dialects for different groups to make communicating to a greater extent efficient. If used correctly, verbal communication can make or break a relationship.Unquestionably, gestural communication has vertical as big of an impact as verbal. Nonverbal can affect auditory, visual and physical channels. In most instances, people can hear the other person talking, con their facial expressio ns and may be touching or receiving a touch simultaneously. Nonverbal communication has fewer rules and has more meanings. Verbal communication is structured with grammar, spelling, and pronunciation such as periods and exclamation marks or there, their and theyre. On the other hand, nonverbal communication shows they can also convey ambiguous meanings.In example, a glance at someone could be defined as flirting, contentment, or a sign of warning. individuals facial expressions, eye contact, posture, gestures, vocal tone, and clothing are usually things we focus on when communicating in person. Most importantly, nonverbal communication is being used finished technology. Through the recent years, people have been relying on e-mail, phones and text communicate to communicate. Some things can be misinterpreted and cause conflict between relationships. Together, verbal and nonverbal communications express meaning and go hand-in-hand with each other.Generally speaking, males and fem ales have different ways of speaking to others comfortably. What most people consummate is that some of the stereotypes about communication between men and women can be true, but also false. manpower tend to communicate more informative, honest, relevant, and use more clear language (McCornack, 2010). They usually focus on activities, information, logic and negotiation. Men often see a womans perspective on emotions as unreasonable. With women, conversations are negotiations for intimacy and avoiding loneliness in which they try to seek and give confirmations and support, and to reach consensus (Tannen, 25).They tend to comprehend a mans view as unsympathetic. Both males and females have different ways of communicating intrapersonally and interpersonally. When a man has foole something wrong, they blame outside circumstances before they blame themselves. They talk for more periods of time this supports the reasoning of having power and controlling it. In mixed groups, men make 9 6% of the interruptions and the precede is that women have greater difficulty presenting their ideas fully (McCornack 2010). Women can feel men are arrogant.Men can feel that women are not assertive that women contribute less. Women focus more steadily on the speaker, whether male or female. The result is that men can perceive women are uncritical cerebrateers, or even as flirting. Since men make less consistent eye contact, they can be perceived as not listening. Since men have less connections between the 2 sides of the brain, it is sometimes easier for men to process information if they are not influencely also trying to process meaning behind eye contact. So sometimes when a man is looking over a womans shoulder he is really listening intently.Men bequeath pull a face and nod to show they agree with the speaker. Women will grinning and nod no matter what, including if she disagrees with someone. They will smile and nod when they are sad, when they are confused, and even whe n they are angry. The result is that men will think women are on board when in fact they might not be. Then men, then, are very move when the conflict does arise. Women are acculturated to be pleasant and smileso it is very hard for men to read the smile. Women are more apt to say please and thank you. The result is that men sometimes dont lease women seriously. Both men and women have linguistic process they use more frequently than the other sex, and some words that few of the other sex use. For example, men use more war and sports-related analogies women use more resource and relationship-based analogies. According to Dindia and Allen, both sexes have socially created stereotypes that keep them from communicating effectively (199259). In their minds, they have a predesigned concept of what is the right way to talk to someone of the opposite sex and someone of the same sex.Some get word words to remember when conversing with another person are recognition, ac manageledgment, and endorsement. Recognition is to declare that the other person exists. Someone may not voice their thoughts because they feel dismissed and overlooked. This can result in ineffective communication the odds will always benefit one person over the other. Acknowledgement is a direct response, permitting the other person know that you heard them. Endorsement is empathizing with the other person let them know that you understand their view. Never become defensive or competitive with whom you are talking to.These factors can colly the atmosphere and create a negative communication climate. The best way to improve communication in a relationship is recognizing ones own style of expressing themselves. When expressing your feelings to someone else, always focus on talking about the other persons behavior, your observations, sharing ideas and choosing the right time and place. If there is something bothering you, for example, not putting things where they belong, tell the other person tha t you are upset with their actions, instead of calling them lazy or inconsiderate.There are also four rules to follow for effective and efficient communication. First, you must say your feelings directly. Never walk out that the person you are talking to knows how you think. Second, express and voice your feelings to your audience. If something is truly bothering you, take a stand and let someone know you are not happy and vice versa. This could work in some of the smallest situations the like trying to decide on what to have for dinner. Thirdly, do not push your boundaries and know your limitations. If there is a problem in a parent and hild relationship, the child should never disrespect their parents. Lastly, do not use any foul language or curse words. If someone feels attacked or disrespected, they are more belike to dismiss the conversation or retaliate against you. There are three different theories that can be applied to communication in relationships. The first one is so cial deputize theory. Exchange theorists propose that identical with others can be controlled by a share of rewards and costs. A reward can be any form of positive exchange that benefits the relationship.Some examples are compromises, compliments and agreements. A cost is a negative exchange for instance critical remarks, complaints and personal attacks. Whenever there are more rewards for both people, they have made a profit in their relationship. When there are more costs than rewards, the result is a loss on both parties. The second theory that applies to relationship communication is gender role theory. Gender is socially and culturally constructed concepts that are attached to a male or a female. Gender roles are expectations that a male or female must fulfill or perform. Knox amp Schacht, 78-82). Both are supposed to dress up a certain way, they must participate in specific activities, and have completely opposite interests. In many situations, males and females are divided from young ages, teaching children that there is no other way, but to populate by the gender stereotypes that society gives them. Gender role theorists believe there is a social plait on how males and females differ. From early ages, males and females learn specific gender roles and behaviors that are considered appropriate for their gender.Males and females are expected to communicate differently because of their interests, causing a conflict in keeping the two from bonding. The last, and most applicable, is symbolic interaction theory. This theory uses a close-up focus on social interactions in specific situations. People tend to use the looking-glass self to solve situations. According to Knox and Schacht, this looking-glass self concept involves looking at each other and perceive the reflected image of someone who is loved and cared for and someone with whom a productive resolution is sought (2010122).We tend to think about how our parents will feel if we do not go home for the weekend or how devising plans with friends over a loved one will affect the outcome. When we communicate in our relationships, most people are consciously wondering how a conversation will be, making an impact on how the watchword will turn out. In the final analysis, communication can be affected by nonverbal and verbal communication and in some cases, gender differences. Verbal communication can share meanings, mold thoughts, manage relationships, and create conversation.Nonverbal communication is how we express our emotions, convey meaning, manage interactions, and help us communicate through our surroundings. Researchers still have not found enough evidence to support whether or not gender plays a role on communication, but social concepts show otherwise. Both males and females have predesigned thoughts of how the other must act, appear and talk. When we communicate, we need to recognize our own weaknesses and those of others. The way our relationships communicate can de termine how our life will turn out.References Dindia, K. , amp Allen, M. (1992). Sex differences in self-disclosure A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 112, 106-124. Knox, D. , amp Schacht, C. (2010). Choices in relationships an introduction to wedlock and family (10th ed. ). Belmont, CA Wadsworth. McCornack, S. (2010). Reflect amp relate an introduction to interpersonal communication (2nd ed. ). Boston, MA Bedford/St. Martins. Tannen, D. (1990). You just dont understand Women and men in conversation. London Virago.